I should be walking the dog, doing my core exercises, running, anything but lying in bed at Noon. I think I'm having a mini MS relapse. It could be a lot worse. My only symptom is that my eyeballs brain vision is are not functioning normally. And I'm extremely cold, but I think that's because I have the windows open.
This all started on Tuesday night in the Las Vegas airport. Everything around me started moving ever so slightly, but it was not really moving. When I looked up at the high airport ceiling, things moved even more, but they didn't. I went into panic mode. Last time I was dizzy like this, I ended up violently ill and then in the hospital for a week. I was about to get on a plane. It was grim. Sean had just run 100 miles with a broken foot. I was supposed to be taking care of him.
I went for a walk around Terminal E. I had a firm talk with my immune system that went like this, "Before you go attacking cells that you think are not-us, take a step back. Take a big-cell-breath and look again. Is it really an enemy invader? Or is it us? Are you confused? It's okay, I get confused too. Just make sure you are actually attacking invaders, not our own cells." Then I went to the bathroom and had some intestinal distress, and chalked the dizziness up to maybe I just ate something that didn't agree with me.
By the time I sat down on the plane with the giant airsick bag that the nice flight attendant had given me just-in-case, I was feeling marginally better. The talk worked! My immune system was calming down, or my stomach was better. The dizzies were almost gone. I put in earplugs and slept most of the flight. We got home Wednesday morning. I slept most of the day, and on Thursday I went back to work. I still felt weird that morning, but by that afternoon I felt pretty normal. I did my tempo run on Friday and it was a slogfest but I still hit my target paces.
Now it seems like once or twice a day I get a bit eyeball floaty, but I'm mostly better. This morning I meant to get up and do my core work and go running, but instead I made muffins, got floaty, and had to have another strongly-worded talk with my immune system. I am probably crazy but I think that shit works. MS is a disease state where your own immune system attacks parts of your own brain. For me, MS is a metaphor for not knowing myself, ignoring myself, and being a bitch to myself. See what I mean? My tough talks now have a hint of compassion.
The dog really has to pee. Time to see what walking is like. Hopefully I'll be running within a few hours. You might think I should lay low until this thing passes for good, but I think there's some benefit to maintaining a normal routine during a relapse, as much as possible. If it were a regularsized relapse, I'd be more tempted to do nothing, but I feel normal a lot of the time, so as long as that's the case, I'll keep doing normal things.