10 April 2013


Maple had the flu this weekend. I thought I'd caught it too, since my chest got that tight sick feeling on Monday, and on Tuesday the coughing fits started. I doused myself in herbs for a couple of days, and I think it's going away. I'm not sure if it was just exhaustion and burnt lungs from the race, or if I really got rid of an impending virus. Either way, I'm feeling better.

Work has been nuts the past couple of weeks. There is so much going on that I can't do better than half-assed at anything, which is not my favorite mode. I am not a perfectionist, but I prefer 3/4-assed.

Tonight, my pod left for Utah, which I thought would make me lonelier than it has. At least so far, it's novel. The quiet is amazing. I didn't know how much I needed quiet until this evening. I feel like these four hours of silence have fixed everything that was ever wrong with me. You guys can come back now!

I'm flying out to meet them next week, to watch Sean run his first 100-miler. I am so excited for him. He'll be running the Zion 100 in southern Utah, which is one of his favorite places on the planet. He hasn't been there in years, and I think he was just about to melt into a puddle of New England sadness if it weren't for this trip. He isn't sad really, he just doesn't fit in here. Although I am more capable of fitting in, I don't really enjoy it. Being in Utah together will be so good for us. We might never come back.

The last time I was in Utah was 2005, when Maple was about a month old. I was in the midst of a severe MS relapse, but we went anyway. Here's me, awkwardly holding Maple. I couldn't really move my arms. It's a miracle I didn't drop her.

I had a hard time speaking during the relapse, but I could walk just fine. And my boobs worked, which was really the only thing that mattered anyway. Sean had to feed me when we'd go out to eat because my hands didn't work too well. People stared and whispered that someone that drunk shuld not be trusted with a baby. I haven't thought about that in years. Good times!

My goal for this trip to Utah: feed myself. And maybe run a few miles.


  1. Lovely ... I want to visit Utah, the red mountain areas myself! Good grief, people said that? Some people have no business talking. Enjoy your "me" time while you have it. The few times I ever have it, I miss my family so much, but I know the quiet is good for us too. Pamper yourself a little and have a great time in Utah!

  2. A 100 miler?! That's so totally amazing. I just crewed/paced my friend' sfirst 50 miler and was so inspired. And speakng of inspiring, you are one strong mama! I can't believe you were going through such a hard time when your daughter was so tiny. It's good to know you have such a supportive husband, but your strength and determination is really special.